The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
