i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
