I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
