and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
