This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
