So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
