i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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