Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
