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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
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Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
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I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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