is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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