did you get engaged???
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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