the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
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I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
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The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
If I die, sorry about rent.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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