Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Randomize
