no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize