I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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