brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
