i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
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nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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