If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
This baby is an asshole
You need a sexual gate keeper
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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