You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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