Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
