i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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