Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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