she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
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