So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
