Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
