I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
