Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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