the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
