There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
