Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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