I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
