We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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