is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Welp...herpes.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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