i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
