Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
