genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
