I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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