You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
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