You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
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