So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
