Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
