the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Randomize
