So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Randomize
