Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
