Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
