you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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