she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
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I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
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I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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