Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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