I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
