i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
