I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I can't turn off my feet"
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
