I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
