I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
