Whod you bang
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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