God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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