So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
