what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
