its not stalking. its research.
No subtext here. People are naked.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Randomize
